The Real Deal Between Gab and Gabbie

I just watched All Of You not having seen the trailer nor knowing anything about it. I've seen English Only Please, and the chemistry between Jennylyn Mercado and Derek Ramsay was undeniable, it's no surprise they're starring in another movie together. I'm not a movie critic, nor am I an MMFF fanatic, but the familiarity of the storyline is enough to urge me to write a reaction paper of some sort.

My qualifications? I've seen the film.

*Spoiler alert! Also, quotes are non-verbatim*

Gabbie (Mercado) is a beautiful, young, accomplished woman who's been dumped by her boyfriend/fiancé of 6 years. After 2 years of keeping herself busy in her singleness post-breakup , a "well-meaning" friend encourages her to try a dating app called “Meetshop” (witty, I know), since she (the friend) hints that her (Gabbie's) lady bits are probably "inaagiw na." The friend promises she only wants her to spice up her life, and imposes that 2 years is too long a time to still think about her ex-fiancé, since… 3-month "rule." Duh.

So to the Meetshop she goes where she matches with Gab (Ramsay) while alone on a business trip at Taipei. He's a hunky, chiseled demigod-looking man who always has a smoulder on his face.

Gab was late, and Gabbie was irked. But as she gets the bill, he pops up. Seeing how attractive he is, Gabbie instantly loses her conviction to leave, and pretends she ordered the menu when the server was handing her the bill—what she initially asked for in the first place. Gab drops mega-cheesy lines about how much he loves his view (seated across Gabbie). She asks if he's a painter or a sculptor, and he tells her no, but if he were, he'd love to have her as his subject. By this time I'm cringing in my seat, but nothing beats a Pinoy movie taking its cues from Western rom-com films. They both agree to move some place else, and Gab hints that if he could have it his way, he'd have her come to his place. Still put under his spell, not only is she letting his tardiness slide, she also takes his f*ck boy hints lightly with giggles and blushing.

Fast-forward to the end of their date, Gab brings her home, and he drops her off by the elevator. She cues her exit, but he says his address was written in Mandarin and his phone died (hence not texting he'd be late). He asks if she has an extra charger in her room so he could “juice up” (which is apparently today's code-speak for "wanna hook up?": may charger ka?). They obviously feel the sexual tension between them, so as they bid each other goodbye, she extends her hand for a handshake, but Gab gets the opportunity to kiss her on the mouth. She kisses back. She reluctantly shuts the door as they both sense they want to have sex, and so when Gab hits his head on the door accidentally, Gabbie thought he was knocking... And boom, she opens the door and they pounce on each other.

After the deed, Gabbie all of a sudden asks Gab if he always asks others if he could "charge his phone." Gab asks why, and Gabbie says his encounter with her was just out of luck ("Swerte mo lang na-lowbatt ka."). Gab refutes this, saying his phone didn't need charging to begin with (making his excuse for not notifying why he’s late a lie), and that *she* was the lucky one in this scenario (WOW 'di ba). Despite his ego and asshole vibe flaring, Gabbie still chooses to keep seeing him, and by seeing, I mean doing.

Okay… so they keep screwing and hanging out until Gab caught some feelings. He professes his love and they finally become an official couple. Disregard the fact that they acted like one since their first hook up, because ~LABELS~. As both got deeper in their sexually-driven affections, Gabbie agrees to move in with Gab despite her condition to think about it for a year. I guess when a hunk of a demigod is tickling you with kisses whilst on top of you, it’s easier to say yes to life-changing decisions such as moving in with your boyfriend from Meetshop.

Now it gets real. Gabbie moves in the mess of an apartment her boyfriend owns, and the first thing Gab shows her is the one, tiny column in his closet where she must stuff her clothes. How sweet. Gabbie nods with a fake wow look on her face, and Gab’s next move was… to ask her to have sex with her. He gets cockblocked by a meeting being moved to an earlier schedule, and he insists they have a quickie. She tells her they can do it later, and so off she goes to do what a stupid girl does—she starts giving MORE wifey benefits to her boyfriend. After seeing his empty cupboards, old stash of porn, and how disorganized everything was, she heads out the door, gets groceries and cleans his apartment. At the end of her fulfilling her yaya duties, she prepares a beautiful dinner for him, like a dutiful wife serving her husband, minus the marriage.

He gets home late, leaving her asleep as she waited for him, propped on his probably freshly vacuumed couch. But that’s okay, she doesn’t mind. She smiles and they eat in *THEIR* house, as Gab would always affirm.

Now what type of movie would this be without trials and tribulations, right? As they say, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Just when I thought they’d live happily ever after (sigh), Gabbie sees an ashtray in their bathroom despite all her efforts to create a smoking area for Gab. She says since she doesn’t smoke, he should be the one smoking outside because it could damage her health. He reluctantly agrees, but since he kept reiterating it’s THEIR space (not just his), she’s just adjusting to how she’s been told. So when Gabbie sees his ashtray inside their bathroom, she flips, and they end up having a huge fight. All of a sudden, it’s HIS house now, and he pushes the argument further by saying he’s been smoking in his early 20s. Besides, his own mom doesn’t even forbid him to smoke. She barks back by saying he’s the one who kept reiterating it’s THEIR house, and she just wants small adjustments from him, like this no smoking rule. “Paano pa ‘pag kinasal tayo?,” she questions. He dodges it successfully after asking sarcastically, “Kasal (like what the???)?”.  They kiss and make up after Gab sweet talks Gabbie, and says he doesn’t want to fight anymore, that she should just let him smoke in the bathroom because he cannot poop without his nicotine fix.

As much as I want to tell the story in detail, I have no time, as I have to climb up the beautiful mountains of Baguio and I have yet to pack my bags. So to cut to the chase, here’s the gist and my two cents on this all too familiar relationship set up.

1. Later on, we see Gabbie end up smoking too, even more habitually than Gab. FACT: Your lover will inevitably influence you, whether you like it or not. Certain convictions will be dismantled. Certain compromises will be made. Certain standards, whether good or bad, are put at risk when you’re romantically attached with someone who thinks otherwise. I’d like to fool myself into thinking that it’s the good that influences the bad in human relationships, but more often than not, it’s the bad that corrupts the good, especially if it's this close a proximity such as living under one roof.

2. Gabbie had a pregnancy scare when her gay best friend noticed she gained weight. She panics a bit, because she knows for a fact that her live-in boyfriend isn’t sure about marriage, let alone a baby. She gets a pregnancy kit and goes home. It tested negative. She sits in disappointment with Gab, and he comforts her by saying they’ll try again. He appeases her by assuring that he wants kids, too. Her conscience now speaks, as she tells him, “Hindi ba dapat kasal muna? Ang bilis na nga ng mga nangyari sa relasyon natin, pati ba naman pag-a-anak mamadaliin natin?” Gab responds by again, dodging the idea. He says marriage isn’t necessary, that she just needs to trust his word for it, because he’s willing to be a responsible father anyway. Gee, how convincing.

Let me talk to the ladies. All too often, we pull off this BAIT AND SWITCH thing, BUT IT RARELY WORKS. We bait the man by giving wifey benefits (when we’re just a girlfriend) or girlfriend benefits (when we’re just a friend), and switch the deal. Suddenly, we hint on marriage or a relationship, hoping he gives us his life-long partnership or promise of love, respectively. Can we just… please… stop this. Please? Either you set your standards to begin with, or you don't. Either you tell him your non-negotiables, or you don't. This is bait and switch trick is unfair for both parties. It really is.

To the men, if you’re willing to give the promise of fatherhood and life-long commitment without the covenant of marriage, you’re fooling yourself. You’re self-deceiving. I’m not saying it’s impossible, maybe some men have really stuck with their women and stayed faithful without marriage (IDK, really, I haven't heard such a story), but if you justify that “it’s just a piece of paper anyway,” then why don’t you get it? If it’s THAT shallow and meaningless to you, then by all means, get that certificate. I think, at the back of your heads, you’re aware that there’s a glorious responsibility and life-changing phenomenon that occurs in a marriage covenant, and you’re too scared for it. Nothing wrong with that, just be honest about it. Don't mask it under the guise of "sus, kasal lang 'yan." I smell your insecurity and boyhood reeking, really.

3. Gab loses his bar called Neverland, because his partners are inevitably growing up (pun intended), not wanting to keep working for the night scene. Two of his co-investors want to save up since the bar isn’t earning anymore, and the other one is starting a family. He loses his bar by the majority’s decision. “Pare, ikaw rin naman ikakasal ‘di ba? Magkakapamilya? It’s time to face reality; reality’s good,” one of them said. He shrugs to both questions nonchalantly, in front of his now butt-hurt girlfriend, Gabbie.

On the car on the way home, Gab asks Gabbie where they’re going to next, and she tells him to decide. This back and forth banter pisses both of them off, since Gabbie all of a sudden bursts in anger as she questions his indecision, but now pertaining to his views about marriage and raising a family. This makes them park at the side of the road in fury, fighting and screaming. Gab says he’s the one who has the right to be disappointed since he just lost his business, while Gabbie retorts that he should’ve listened to her when she proposed a different business for them, since she already sensed that the bar would close soon. 

“Why is everything f*cking about you?! Lahat na lang gusto mong baguhin sa’kin pati pag-tae ko... blah, blah, blah..." 

She responds: "Ang hirap mong mahalin."

He then gets even more pissed and so he kneels and asks her to marry him in all sarcasm and hostility. Now that's how you do proposals. By now she seems dazed, in tears, and she gets a stick of cigarette and as she asks for his lighter. End scene.

I'm a firm believer of gender roles and gender design. Men are designed to lead in relationships, and women are called to be strong partners and helpmates. Not yayas. Don't get confused. Katuwang, hindi katulong. Passivity and indecisiveness in men always tear a relationship down, the same way a woman's stubbornness in a relationship is a recipe for disaster. Lethargic manhood makes women step up to the plate, sure... but without resentment? I doubt.

Gab is mad because he feels like Gabbie wasn't supportive in his decision to keep the bar, and Gabbie is mad because she feels like her opinions aren't valued. Now that shit hit the fan, they both explode. Ultimately, the issue here is rooted in a man's ability to lead, and a woman's willingness to submit. 

Also, Gabbie's response, "ang hirap mong mahalin," is a line she first said to her ex-fiancé in the middle of a fight at a parking lot. It is nothing but a reflection of how she is, too. A relationship is a mirror. It will reflect your beauty, and in contrast, your ugliness, too. At one point, I wanted to say, "gurl, parang ikaw hinde?!"

4. In the end, she moves out with her heart terribly broken, but later on starts dating again. In the middle of her rebound date, her memories with Gab kept resurfacing. So she cries in the car, and calls him to tell her where she is. She falls asleep waiting, and he arrives with a ring on his hand. He tells her he now wants marriage, and that he got the ring quickly after their break up. She shuts the ring box, and he exits the vehicle. She runs after him and they hug and kiss. THE END. ROLL CREDITS.

Now I don't know if they ended up marrying each other. That's subject to the watcher's interpretation. But all too often, I see this marriage-as-a-salvation formula happening in relationships. As if marriage could fix all the relationship's issues, as if it's the final answer to all their romantic woes. It's like marriage is the final stage of a relationship—after the sex, after the moving in, after the whole role-playing as husband and wife. What a joke. Marriage should be the beginning, not the end. We value order in other things such as our progression from students to professionals, infants to adults, but not in romantic relationships. Hindi na uso 'yan ngayon! We dismissively remark.

Sure, this set up may have worked for some, but at what expense, or more importantly, at *whose* expense?

Who you are and how you are in your singleness will be EXTREMELY magnified in marriage. Extremely. If you're selfish as a boyfriend, you'll be selfish as a husband, only, multiply that selfishness by 10, I'd say.

Marriage is a bad savior, because it's not intended to be that. Marriage is a union given by God, made by God, created for God. It's not something you do because you want to save a relationship. It's something you do because you want to glorify the ultimate Savior. It's the consummation, illustration, and demonstration of Christ's love for His bride, the church. That's what it is.

So to answer the question posed in the trailer: How do you know when to give all of you?

When you can set aside your needs and wants for the benefit and gain of the other, when you aren't clouded by the fake love-dovey emotions from sex and still love the other anyway (and when you can respect the person enough to wait till marriage to have sex), when there's deep enough a friendship to see the convictions and integrity of the other and still want to choose that person no matter what, when you see marriage for its purpose and meaning, and of course, when he puts a ring on your finger... that's when you can give all of you.

Besides, it's 2017. Marriage still matters.

PS: In fairness, galing nila both umarte. Laking improvement ng acting ni Derek.

(screenshot from Quantum Films trailer on YouTube)