To the girl who still cares about what he thinks

I hate how he now affects the truths you want to express. Your self-expression is one of the most amazing things about you. You have connected to so many women because of it. It is your gift. When you write things, it's never about you. It's always about the ways your life will connect with another. How many girls have felt betrayed and abandoned? How many girls are trapped in situations where men make them feel small? What happened to you was terrible but you speaking up and sharing— with so much grace and tact—that's the redemption story. That has the capacity to create a ripple effect that sets another girl free. 

I know you are still processing so many things and I know you didn't get proper closure, and the reality is you might never get the chance to hear what you want to hear or say what you want to say. And I know that kind of sucks. But the really brave girls, the really empowered women, learn to thrive even though their past isn't resolved. Like I told you, of course you're still angry, of course you wanna stick it to the man. I feel you. I really do. But maybe the way you truly redeem this shitty experience is you use it to give other girls strength. You do what you do best and you spin a tragedy into gold.

You've weathered through worst. I'm so proud of you for always finding the courage to bounce back. This moment is not exempt from that. You're allowed to be angry and now is a good time to channel that anger into creating something good. Something that builds others up. Your blog is going to be a space of honesty and freedom and hope. But you've got to give yourself permission to tell the story well.

And you're doing good. You're not spiteful; you're not dishonest.

You're real.

We need that.

Your voice and your story and your reality and your struggle and your LIFE matters. So sing it loud and proud. ;)

Anne Lamott has a famous quote:

You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should've behaved better.